Thinking Out Loud... So there’s this sort of clanking sound in my head…something akin to the way a roller coaster car clanks and drags itself rung by rung up to the summit of the hill. Each click, another thing on my list to do, to plan, to finish, to remember…click, click, click…until you reach the top and suddenly the list is obliterated in the rush of air and gravity pressing in on you forcing you to be in the moment and nowhere else. I can scarcely imagine being able to think of anything but the present in those hurtling seconds down the hill only to be caught up once again in the clank and drag – the list returns.
Every once in a while, I find that I am teetering on that apex, list in hand, mind in a bog of details and worries and suddenly the Spirit sweeps in to move you just over the top, down that hill into the moment. The problem is we often forget to hold ourselves suspended there for a while – in the moment. It took three trips over the top one recent Sunday for me to remember to just be in the present – with God, being still and silent.
First was the beautiful music of Elizabeth and Mollie who graced our sanctuary with their voices soft as feathers floating down over us…”Mighty God who calmed the sea, come and shelter me” they sang and I felt the worries fall away as I descended into the moment…yes, come and shelter me, Lord. Then, unlikely as it sounds, at our session meeting another moment arrived as an elder read a devotional about taking time to be present for one another – I think “spend more times with friends” was on my “to do” list…that’s sad, I thought, that I have to remind myself to do this, to make time for those whom I love most? Then at home tackling the stack of paperwork, feeling the tension grip my muscles, there in the middle of notes and reports was this from the poem “Preparation” by Effie Smith:
"I have no time for those things now," we say;
"But in the future just a little way,
No longer by this ceaseless toil oppressed,
I shall have leisure then for thought and rest.
When I the debts upon my land have paid,
Or on foundations firm my business laid,
I shall take time for discourse long and sweet
With those beloved who round my hearthstone meet;
I shall take time on mornings still and cool
To seek the freshness dim of wood and pool,
Where, calmed and hallowed by great Nature's peace,
My life from its hot cares shall find release;
I shall take time to think on destiny,
Of what I was and am and yet shall be,
Till in the hush my soul may nearer prove
To that great Soul in whom we live and move.
All this I shall do sometime but not now--
The press of business cares will not allow."
And thus our life glides on year after year;
The promised leisure never comes more near.
Perhaps the aim on which we placed our mind
Is high, and its attainment slow to find;
Or if we reach the mark that we have set,
We still would seek another, farther yet.
Thus all our youth, our strength, our time go past
Till death upon the threshold stands at last,
And back unto our Maker we must give
The life we spent preparing well to live.”
May your days be spent in the living of life and not just in preparation… Pastor Nadine